#49 Varför det dränerar ditt självförtroende att försöka passa in

In this episode of the podcast Confident Leadership. In Colour. Leadership coach Hanna Zaxmy reflects on why the attempt to fit in can sometimes drain our confidence – and how authentic leadership instead begins with self-leadership and identity.

Have you ever felt that you’re trying to fit into a role or environment that isn’t really shaped for you?

Using a simple metaphor from a children’s shape-sorting toy – square, triangle and circle – Hanna explores what happens when we try to force ourselves into a shape that does not quite fit. In working life, it can sometimes feel as if those around us are trying to place us into a role, behaviour or expectation that does not truly align with who we are.

This episode also explors how expectations, norms and unspoken rules sometimes function like a kind of armour – something we wear to fit in, but which at the same time can make our leadership heavier.

At the same time, the episode shows that confidence in leadership rarely comes from becoming someone else, but rather about gradually daring to stand more firmly in who you already are.

When you stand in your own expression and in your own colours, the focus shifts. Your energy no longer goes into wondering whether you fit in – but into what you actually want to contribute.

That is often where authentic leadership starts.

Key insights from the episode

Trying to fit into the wrong role can drain both energy and confidence.
Norms and expectations can sometimes function like an invisible suit of armour.
Self-leadership often begins with understanding who you are.
Authentic leadership is not about becoming someone else – but about becoming more of who you already are.
When you stand firmly in your own identity, it becomes easier to contribute with your strengths.

If you would like to continue reflecting on self-leadership, courage and authentic leadership, you are also warmly welcome to explore the membership. Confident Leadership. In Colour., where you’ll find practical exercises, reflections and tools to develop your leadership in everyday life.