“Who can take responsibility as class parent this year?”
It starts crawling under my skin. I know exactly what’s coming. No one answers. The silence echoes. And just before it becomes unbearable, I hear myself say:
“I can take it.”
Maybe you recognize the situation? That moment when you — yet again — step in. Because no one else does. Because you’re responsible. Reliable. Solution-oriented.
But here’s what I’ve come to realize: Taking responsibility isn’t the same as doing it all yourself..
When Ownership Becomes Loneliness
I’ve taken on a lot of responsibility over the years — as a leader, colleague, parent, friend. And it’s helped me grow. I’ve learned, performed, delivered. But it’s also led me into a trap: the belief that if something needs to be done, I have to be the one to do it.
That worked. Until it didn’t anymore.
In episode 4 of my podcast, I share the story of the day my body said stop. A clear sign: I had taken responsibility for everything — except myself.
So What Does Ownership Actually Mean?
Ownership is not the same as control.
It’s about:
✨ Being honest about what’s yours — and what’s not
✨ Taking responsibility for your energy, your communication, your choices
✨ And — perhaps most importantly — giving others the chance to take their share of responsibility
As a coach, I often meet leaders who, like me, are used to carrying a lot. And I also meet teams where it’s not a lack of engagement — just a lack of trust. Or a safe space to try — no matter the outcome.
When we stop carrying everything ourselves and instead create space for others to step forward,something powerful happens:
Teams grow. Courage grows. Ownership shifts — from one person to many.
From Frustration to Empowerment
A client, let’s call her Sarah, described her frustration with a manager who never listened.
She felt unseen, overruled, tired.
But when we flipped the perspective and I asked:
👉 “What can you take ownership of?”
— something shifted.
She realized she could actually influence the situation.
Not everything — but something.
And that changed the whole conversation with her manager.
And her entire sense of agency.
Because that’s just it:
Ownership is about focusing on what’s truly yours.
Leading Others Through Ownership
So — how do you, as a leader, foster a climate where others want to take ownership?
💡 Invite contribution. Ask, “What would you like to take responsibility for here?”
💡 Set clear frameworks — but not all the answers. That creates safety without killing initiative.
💡 Support, don’t steer. You can coach without controlling.
💡 Be a role model. Show how you reflect and take responsibility for what’s yours.
💡 And sometimes: step back Let someone else try — even if it’s not exactly how you’d do it.
You might even learn something new in the process.
Final Reflection
Maybe you’re standing in front of a project where you’re already carrying too much. Or a team where you wonder why no one’s stepping forward. Take a moment and ask yourself:
👉 What’s mine to own?
👉 What do I need to let go of?
👉 Who else needs the opportunity to grow?
Because leading with ownership isn’t about doing more.
It’s about leading with courage, presence — and trust.
📥 Free Reflection Support
Want to explore what’s truly yours to carry — and what you can let go of?
🔗 [Download my free Clarity Workbook here]
💛 And if you want personal support — I offer 1:1 coaching for leaders who want to lead sustainably. For real. In colour.